Defining the real you…

Are you living a life that is more in tune with your "real" self (who you were created to be) or your "imagined" self (who the world has told you to be)?

You probably are not even aware that these versions of your "self" existed and as the holiday season approaches it is a good time to really watch for the differences and take toll of what is going on with your inner real self in comparison with the imagined self.

With parties to attend and family dinners to enjoy or endure you will find that this time of the year is renowned for ‘small talk’ – other people interacting with you and also wanting to know what you are about. The very first question you are usually asked after your name is ‘what do you do?’ This is the stock question that is asked of you to define you, it is a question that has been perpetuated over time.

Such a shallow question, but one that makes me think about the difference between the person that people perceive and the person that is real.

People are more or less asking you what your social situation is when they ask this question, although I am sure that they really would like to know ‘who are you?’

But most of us want to keep this inside, what we know of ourselves we do like to keep to ourselves. The reason for this secretiveness is that mostly you can’t tell people who you are because you don’t really know.

The real self is the core of you. It is the part of you not defined by your career, not defined by your function in life such as being a mum, being a dad, being a sibling or a child.

The real self is the package of your inner self,
The real self is the parts of you that are uniquely yours, your emotions, your abilities, your talents skills and wisdom and most of all your spirit. Also your experiences that have formed what is "you".

It is not what you believe you are supposed to be or what society has labeled you, it is so exhausting to have to push forward this imagined self when there is a perfectly good real self hidden inside.

The real self is the part of you that is the most important, the part of you that is special and apart from others. There are millions of bakers, mothers, book keepers etc out there but there is only one ‘you’.

When you're not living faithfully to your real self, you find yourself feeling incomplete, as if there is a hole in your energy

You may have found that it's easier to fill the roles your family and friends expect of you, rather than becoming who you really want to be. Holiday time is often especially difficult with family member’s expectations of you with your work. It is more about them than about you.

 This is a time when often we feel as though we are really put on the line, when our loved ones check off their list of what they want from us.

When you live a life that has you ignoring your true gifts and talents while performing assigned or inherited roles instead, you are living as your imagined self.

Living this way drains you of the critical life energy you need to pursue the things you truly value. So often the career that you have is so far removed from the path that your inner self would like to take but money and chattels makes the path seem to be crucial. It is about ‘wants’ and ‘needs’.

The imagined self sends you false information about who you are and what you should be doing with your life. It blocks the information you need in order to maintain the connection with your true real identity. Relying on information from the imagined self means you are living a lie.

It is so hard to battle a life that is filled with ‘living up to the expectations of others’ – or living up to an expected work outcome or expected income amount.

The most important part of your life path planning has to be that you live your life in a way that is real and true to your individual soul.

Do you think that you could answer the question ‘who are you?’

You are a unique living soul, with unique energy. No one is like you; there is not another person that is your exact replica. When someone asks you ‘what do you do’ imagine what reaction you would get if you answered this question in a truthful way, listing all the things that you do each day, the loving, the caring, the interaction with others, your generosity of your soul, the sadness, the happiness, the imagined future. Or imagine the reaction you would get if you said well I do not define myself by my work, I am so much more than that. Your work or lack of it is not you.

Why do we have this urge to want to appear to be ‘successful’ in the eyes of the world? We have been conditioned from childhood to success.
When we feel that we are not successful we then feel highly disappointed with our selves.

But this is not what the life process is about, it is not about how much success we have, not about how much money we have it is about the way that we live our life each day. It is about the little things, the enjoyment of what we do, the enjoyment of that cup of latte, the enjoyment of seeing a bird or a magnificent tree. The smile of a child, I know that these things sound so cliché, but it is amazing if you look for the little joys you will feel so much better.

My guide has never indicated that people are judged on how much money they have, or how high they have climbed on the social/ corporate ladder.

The more you remember your inner self the real you, the less you will have the need to judge, resist or promote your personality.

You will not want to be in charge of parts of the lives of others or things that are of no real consequence. This will result in peace and happiness and give your inner soul strength.

The key to your inner self and the real self is consciousness. So often we just act unconsciously, the key is awareness.

Be aware of your thoughts and feelings before you react. Don’t hurry your reactions.

There are always obstructions to you finding your real self, these obstructions come by way of other people, fear, doubt and insecurity are also big ones.
Your biggest gift in this life is you, be proud of what you are, be proud of your real self.

 Seasons Greetings,

  Tricia